How different Whitman sports teams prepare for victory.
Fall Boys soccer: We practice our post-goal cellys. We know we’ll get to use them eventually. Girls soccer: We commune with the spirits of our back to back to back … Read More
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Chand Amerasinghe wakes up late amid promises to “lock in,” blaming a faulty alarm clock
Senior Chand Amerasinghe (better known as “Chand America”) came to school four hours late last Wednesday despite promises to raise his 0.2 Grade-Point Average. He arrived at school around 12:15 … Read More
Democracy toppled: Volume 63 of the B&W has taken over
On April 1st, the old, defunct Volume 62 of the Black & White ended. In its place comes the cool, fresh Volume 63 generation, full of journalistic spirit and zeal. … Read More
Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed
Last Sunday, I couldn’t have been more happy. I had just been adopted by Felicity Huffman — the multi millionaire actress who paid for someone to fix her daughter’s SAT … Read More
I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me
As a woman, it’s hard to be surrounded by men — especially in academic environments — where you’re constantly underrepresented and looked over as a serious member of the conversation. … Read More
5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC
One thing all students in the Whitman area love doing in their free time is saying that they’re from “DC,” especially putting the two letters in their Instagram bio to … Read More
Aww, not you too! “Chester Cheetah” of Frito-Lay makes antisemitic comments
In some disappointing news, The Rutabaga has found that “Chester Cheetah,” best known for his appearances in Frito-Lay commercials and chip branding, has made several antisemitic comments in the past … Read More
Six more weeks of winter? Yeah, right: Turns out Phil the Groundhog is a lying snake
On Groundhog’s Day, the US —especially the East Coast — was disappointed to learn, according to a little groundhog, that we would be having six more weeks of winter instead … Read More
Senior Stunner superlative canceled due to “abnormally ugly senior class”
The senior superlative nominations are out and it has Whitman’s entire senior class buzzing. But, everyone has realized that an important part of the superlatives went missing: the “senior stunner” … Read More
Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health
Winter time marks the era of stress, depression, and just generally feeling like absolute shit. Well, instead of your other numerous attempts to get therapy, manage your schedule, or seek … Read More