Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin
Vladyyy stoooooop. Ms.Eagan is upset with you. -The Rutabaga
Category: Politics
Open letter to all mansplainers: Thank you.
Dear Mansplainers, On behalf of all women everywhere, thank you. I don’t know what us feeble and utterly incompetent creatures would do without your profound explanations of every single topic … Read More
ESPN Frustrated after NFL draft pick has no dead family members
Clemson Junior Trevor Lawrence has been touted as a generational talent at the Quarterback position. Highly respected NFL scout Anita Hanjaahb called him “The Greatest Quarterback prospect we’ve ever seen.” … Read More
Political Figures as Drake Songs
Ever wondered what Drake song your favorite political figure would be? Here are some of our favorites. Tucker Carlson- Worst Behavior Fans have speculated that Drake’s opening line in this … Read More
Bernie Sanders Sells Used Mittens to Jeff Bezos for $45 billion
January 20, 2021 will go down as one of the most important days in American history. An event so historic, so significant, that our kids will be reading about it … Read More
Bye Bye, Boris: Boris Johnson quits job as PM, now selling porridge to homeless people on the streets of London
This week, our London reporters have come across a troubling report. U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the 2020 world’s sexiest man, has quit his job in Parliament in favor of … Read More
Did You Open Your Home to The Virus This Christmas?
2020 was a year of innovation. Out of patriotic desire for the prosperity of our great nation, the American people have adapted. However, with all this rapid change, a question … Read More
Guys who wear shorts to school in December are outraged about online school
The pandemic has affected all of us in some way or another. Some people lost their jobs, others have lost love ones, but absolutely nobody has lost more than December … Read More
Breaking: Democratic party membership decreases 78% after news releases that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a boyfriend
After news released that New York Democratic senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is dating a man by the name of Riley Roberts, many long-time Democrats are starting to rethink their positions. We … Read More
Breaking: actual Libertarian man exists
Springfield, IL — Gary Fleming, 37, hurls Libertarian propaganda at passersby.