Graduation Moved to the Long Lost City of Atlantis
In a series of community emails over the weekend, the Whitman Administration announced that they moved the 2025 graduation to the underwater city of Atlantis following a countywide verdict which moves all graduations to the formerly-lost city.
“The venue is huge and will easily fit 5,000 people,” Principal Miller said in the email notifying students and families of the change. “Just bring a raincoat and an oxygen tank.”
The Rutabaga has confirmed that the venue will hold just under 3,000 people, although the stadium notes on its website that there may be fish in some seats so capacity varies from day to day. The venue is also 20,000 leagues under the sea, so travel times could be as long as 48 hours in addition to the training necessary to withstand the G-force that comes with being 10,000 feet underwater.
In an informal protest vote organized by detractors of the venue change, 90% of seniors were opposed to the Atlantis graduation ceremony, with the 10% being the whole swim team and rowing team.
Senior Illy Gal said she was a pretty big fan of the idea when it was first announced but that she’s rethought her original stance as she’s learned more.
“When I read the email, I was psyched to go to Atlantis,” Gal said. “But as I looked into it, the idea of having to take 100 hours of lessons and get SCUBA certified just to graduate high school seemed like a little too much.”
In order to get students and family SCUBA certified in time, MCPS has devoted 850 million dollars to a Should Cure Underwater Breath Attacks company for the swim down to the Atlantis Stadium. In a statement to the Rutabaga, the MCPS budget office confirmed the money would be coming out of teacher paychecks and the part of the budget that is usually used for school supplies.
“Yeah, you won’t have paper for the next decade,” said a budget office spokesperson. “We attempted to just take it out of teacher paychecks, but couldn’t get nearly enough. At least graduation will be cool. Right?”