Breaking: Democratic party membership decreases 78% after news releases that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a boyfriend

After news released that New York Democratic senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is dating a man by the name of Riley Roberts, many long-time Democrats are starting to rethink their positions.

We talked to Bradley Johnson, a lifelong Democrat and avid AOC supporter, who said “none of her policies feel that good anymore; I don’t feel the same passion I did before.” Bradley also remarked that he “cried endlessly for hours” after hearing the news.

With fascist dictator Barack Obama recently being elected as Supreme Leader of the United States, we will see how this affects the Democratic party in the future.