Concern grows for Whitman junior taking only one AP class
A Whitman junior is taking only one AP class — the scandal at the lips of every student, staff and parent. Everyone has expressed their concern regarding the small workload … Read More
Category: News
Breaking news: Whitman administration facing deal with the devil, says insider
It’s been the topic on every Whitman student and teacher’s minds: where are all the stricter rules coming from? Did a rock fall on someone’s head and get the pain … Read More
Dr.Dodd found principaling other school
The Rutabaga has recently obtained shocking evidence of Dr. Dodd principaling with a different High School. Suspicion arose regarding Dr. Dodds extraprincipal activity after students noticed that neither Doddy nor … Read More
Santa’s Elves Sue For Better Working Conditions
“St.Nick”, “Kris Kringle”, “Father Christmas” are all nicknames for the man who makes it all happen. Most people see Santa as a jolly fellow who brings gifts to everyone but … Read More
Voluptuous straight men fed up with constant objectification
In our modern “woke” culture, there’s one group whose struggle seems to have been completely ignored — thick straight men. As a result, members of the community say that people … Read More
Hot girl summer has turned into hot when I pee fall :(
This summer was monumental for hot girls all across the country. Depression rates were at an all-time low and Plan B sales were at an all-time high. Sadly, as of … Read More
Breaking: ‘The Whitman football team is actually really good,’ say their moms
The Whitman varsity football team hasn’t won a single game this school year. Their total point deficit is 21 to 234. Despite the team’s 0–5 record, a highly persuasive group … Read More
Delta Airlines petitions congress to change the name of Delta variant to ‘Southwest variant’
Over the weekend, a request from Delta Airlines was sent to both chambers of Congress to rename the Delta strain of COVID-19 to the “Southwest variant.” “Here at Delta, we … Read More
Save the Date: Senior Tar and Feathering in the Whitman Parking Lot
Save the date! April 8th is now public tar and feathering day in the Whitman parking lot for any senior who doesn’t get into an Ivy League school. Due to … Read More
SGA Solves the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
The Whitman SGA has made waves internationally after solving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict last week. In typical SGA fashion, they have sparked monumental change on a global scale after proposing a … Read More